Have you ever known people that are resilient with self-belief? Those that, when life knocked them down, told them 'no, you can't/won't, or 'stop! don't!' - they charged forward anyway? I have, and it’s been altering...

Early on in life I didn’t come into great luxury, though I did have something that many did not; a supportive family. As I aged, I realised that while material riches weren't abundant, an alternative wealth was; self belief. I learned by example and demonstration. I saw those close to me stand - fall - stand and fall. I learned that it was okay to 'fail', good to try and great to believe. 'Success' was separate to 'worth' and removed from 'identity'. Support was not dependant on outcome -it was stand-alone, fixed and continuous... 

Many aren't born into 'backing' but  create it. I believe that when you go without, your creations and victories are all the more sweeter. The absence of backing need not be a ticket to adversity, but the platform for intentional cultivation and potentially even more powerful than given resources.

 

When I was young, I didn't really know what 'limitations'  were (until the world taught me to see them). Apparently, they were like minefields, treacherous - revealed by just one wrong move! Limitations were spiders hidden in things, traceable in ability, looks, aptitude, love, crisis, chaos, career and possibility. If self-belief were the sun, limitations were dark, ominous clouds, threatening fine days...

 

I didn't believe in this analogy, or at least, I would't let the clouds deter my day. The support network I had taught me to practice that while clouds existed, they didn't have to detract from the sun - unless you wanted them to. I still believe in this today.

 

When I left 'the nest', I learned the rough-and-tumble way (as many of us have) that the world really likes ‘buy-in’ on fads motivated by fear. The world would happily and readily tell me what I was and what I wasn’t, what I could be and what I couldn't, what was relevant and what was irrelevant. It was scary, hadn't I been taught not to be defined by outcomes? Weren't these messages challenging my ideology? I kept observing...

 

The infiltration of continual, unsolicited, personal assessments were an assault to my senses. How could everyone be so sure about everything, everywhere? And then it occurred to me, maybe they weren't sure, maybe they were faking it... we are all unsure at times, but was it fair to capitalise on that routinely? Why was the world like this?

 

I wondered often, as I watched people get cut down and treat it as gospel. Why was it so offensive to try? Why were people afraid of the beautiful struggle? What was offensive about letting a person grow, evolve and change? Ah! Change...

 

Being alone in a big city, 19 and wide-eyed, I would tell myself ‘Well! This isreality, this must be adulthood! You're not supposed to be happy! You're not supposed to push boundaries...you are what you are - that is it...’, and gradually, with this new ideology - I felt numb. I learned the rules and limitations, I complied, adopted and adapted. I sat with all the limited people and lived a limited life. It was BORING.

 

Eventually, I threw those limits away.  I didn't need to be told what I was and what I wasn't – I knew myself before anyone, and the sun starting coming out again...

 

In a time where we're craving 'likes' on profile updates, comments on new-look pictures, approval from our superiors and endorsement for ideas, don't forget that how we ‘buy in’ to limitation, can really determine the scope of our joy.

 

So in your personal life and professional life, don't worry so much about if you have the right support network - just remember to Back Yourself - you'll be so glad you did.

 

 

Written by Abby Kempe for AK Services LTD.